Anxiety Isn’t the Enemy—It’s Information
Let’s start with something unpopular:
Your anxiety is not trying to ruin your life.
I know it feels that way. Anxiety is loud, uncomfortable, and deeply inconvenient. It shows up at the worst times, hijacks your thoughts, and convinces you that everything is about to go wrong.
So most people treat anxiety like an enemy to defeat. Something to get rid of. Manage. Silence. Medicate away. Push through.
But here’s the reframe I offer clients all the time:
Anxiety is information.
Messy, distorted, annoying information—but information nonetheless.
And if you’re at a major life crossroads, anxiety often shows up for a reason.
Why Anxiety Gets So Loud at Crossroads
Notice when your anxiety spikes.
It’s usually not random.
It tends to show up when:
you’re facing a big decision
something old no longer fits
you’re considering change you can’t undo
you’re questioning the life you’ve built
you’re standing between “what was” and “what’s next”
In other words: anxiety loves uncertainty.
When the path forward isn’t clear, your nervous system goes into overdrive trying to protect you from making the “wrong” move. It scans for danger. It catastrophizes. It keeps you stuck in worst-case scenarios.
Not because it’s broken—but because it’s trying (clumsily) to keep you safe.
Anxiety About the State of the World Is Not Irrational
This is where I want to zoom out for a minute.
A lot of people’s anxiety right now isn’t just personal. It’s contextual. It’s political. It’s collective.
If you’re paying attention to the world— rising fascism, ICE, climate collapse, attacks on bodily autonomy, genocide, misogyny, transphobia, or the general sense that things feel deeply unstable—of course your nervous system is on edge.
That’s not a cognitive distortion.
That’s awareness.
This kind of anxiety isn’t a personal weakness. It’s a reasonable response to living in a world that keeps showing you it’s unsafe.
Your anxiety might be reacting to:
the loss of rights you never thought were up for debate
the constant background fear of “what’s next?”
the exhaustion of being told to stay calm while things are objectively fucked
the pressure to function normally inside systems that feel morally broken
If your anxiety spikes when you read the news or think about the future, that doesn’t mean you’re fragile.
It means your body understands what your brain already knows: silence isn’t neutral, and pretending everything’s fine doesn’t make it safer.
Therapy Isn’t About Gaslighting You Into Calm
This matters enough to say clearly.
Good therapy is not about convincing you that everything is okay when it isn’t.
It’s not about telling you to “just focus on what you can control” while ignoring real harm.
And it’s definitely not about individualizing distress that has very real social and political roots.
From my perspective, therapy in times like these is about:
helping you stay grounded without going numb
making space for grief, anger, and fear without drowning in them
understanding how global instability amplifies personal anxiety
figuring out how to live with integrity in a world that feels misaligned with your values
Your anxiety about the state of the world doesn’t need to be eliminated.
It needs context, containment, and support.
When Global Anxiety Collides With Personal Crossroads
This is where things often get especially tangled.
A lot of people are making major life decisions inside this larger political and cultural anxiety:
Do I want to stay in this job when it feels ethically compromised?
Do I want to live in this place if it no longer feels safe or aligned?
Do I want to participate in systems that exhaust or dehumanize me?
What kind of future am I actually willing to build?
When personal crossroads collide with collective anxiety, it can feel paralyzing.
You’re not just deciding what you want—you’re deciding what kind of world you’re willing to live in.
That’s heavy. And it makes complete sense that anxiety shows up loud and insistent here.
Anxiety Isn’t Always a Problem to Eliminate
This is where a lot of people get stuck.
They assume the goal is to get rid of anxiety before making decisions. To wait until they feel calm, confident, and 100% sure.
But if you’re waiting for anxiety to disappear before moving forward, you might be waiting forever.
Especially at crossroads.
Because anxiety doesn’t always mean “don’t do this.”
Sometimes it means:
This matters
There’s risk here
Something important is changing
Trying to bulldoze anxiety—or shame yourself for having it—usually makes it louder.
Listening to it without letting it run the show is where things shift.
Helpful Anxiety vs. Bullshit Anxiety
Not all anxiety is created equal.
Some anxiety is useful.
Some anxiety is leftover wiring from past experiences that no longer apply.
The work is learning to tell the difference.
Helpful anxiety might be pointing to:
a real boundary issue
a value conflict
a decision that needs more time or support
grief you haven’t fully acknowledged yet
Bullshit anxiety usually sounds like:
“You’re going to ruin everything.”
“You’ll regret this forever.”
“You’re behind and running out of time.”
“Everyone else has this figured out but you.”
That second kind isn’t intuition.
It’s fear dressed up as certainty.
Anxiety, Stuckness, and Self-Trust
Here’s the part I care most about.
Anxiety becomes unbearable when you don’t trust yourself.
When you believe:
you’ll make the wrong choice
you won’t be able to handle the consequences
you’ll disappoint people
you’ll regret whatever you choose
At that point, anxiety doesn’t feel like information—it feels like a verdict.
A big part of therapy at crossroads isn’t eliminating anxiety, but rebuilding trust in your ability to navigate uncertainty.
Not perfectly. Not without fear.
But enough to keep going.
What Therapy Looks Like When Anxiety Is the Issue
This isn’t about positive thinking or pretending you’re not scared.
The work looks more like:
slowing anxiety down so it can be understood
separating real risk from imagined catastrophe
noticing where anxiety is rooted in past experiences, not present reality
helping your nervous system feel safer so you can think clearly
learning how to make decisions with anxiety, not after it disappears
That’s deeper than coping.
That’s learning how to live honestly when things actually matter.
You Don’t Need to Be Anxiety-Free to Move Forward
If you’re waiting to feel calm before you make a change, here’s the hard truth:
Most meaningful decisions are made with anxiety in the room.
Courage isn’t the absence of anxiety.
It’s the ability to listen to it without letting it drive.
If your anxiety has been screaming lately, it might not be a sign that you’re broken.
It might be a sign that you’re standing at an edge.
And edges are uncomfortable by nature.
If This Sounds Familiar
If your anxiety feels tangled up with big questions about your life, your values, or what comes next—you don’t need to figure it out alone.
Therapy can be a place to slow things down, clear the noise, and understand what your anxiety is actually trying to tell you.
Not so you can eliminate it.
But so you can move forward with more clarity and less self-betrayal.
I offer online therapy for women in New York and New Jersey who feel anxious, stuck, or at a major life crossroads and want more than coping strategies. If this resonates, therapy could be a meaningful next step, reach out to get started.
